What You Need Is A Bear Proof Suit
.
December 2, 2009
Filed under Humor
Do you have an unreasonable or irrational fear of grizzly bears? Do you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night looking around your room for big brown objects? Well, fear no more because with Troy Hurtubise’s invention: The Grizzly Bear Proof Suit, Ursus Mark VII, YOU SHALL NEVER FEAR BEARS EVER AGAIN.
Mr. Hurtubise first conceived the idea for this suit in 1987 when he was watching RoboCop. On that day a legend was born. He justified it by coming up with many different field applications for the suit such as studying bears’ aggression and attack patterns.
In the early stages Mr. Hurtubise tested the suits himself and received a lot of media coverage. He was filmed being run over by a car, having logs smashed into him and jumping off of large precipices. People found this so interesting that there was a documentary made entitled “Project Grizzly.” This movie followed him during a year of research and development of the suit where he was seen doing the above testing and his day to day economic struggles with making it.
Seventeen years later, over 150,000 dollars spent, 2 bankruptcies, and a close call with divorce, he has gone through seven different models of the suit and come up with one that is completely bear and shark proof. Unfortunately, the market for bear proof suits is practically non existent. Hurtubise has turned the suit into a full body exoskeleton for the military called Trojan. He says it can be mass produced for fewer than 2,000 dollars per suit but the military wasn’t interested. So now the future of the suit and Mr. Hurtubise himself is in question.
BUY ONE NOW
SAVE THE SUITS
Last 5 posts in Humor
- SEN10RITIS! - April 8th, 2010
- Seniors School the Staff in Student-Faculty Basketball Game - April 7th, 2010
- Watch Out for the Como Park Citations! - March 9th, 2010
- "Groundhog Day... Seriously?!" - February 4th, 2010
- The Many Lives of Sam Carey - archive - October 29th, 2009
Loading ...
Comments