The Many Lives of Sam Carey – archive

October 29, 2009  
Filed under Humor

Week of October 5, 2009
“Sam just walked in one day and sat down. That was four years ago, and he won’t leave. We don’t have the heart to tell him that he is not enrolled at Como, and never was. We’re not sure, but we think he was living on the street in Chicago or New York before he arrived here. But no one knows for sure.” He’s clearly unbalanced, but seems harmless enough, so I guess we’ll just let him stay until next spring when we’ll tell him that he “graduated.” Hopefully, he’ll go away then.

Week of October 12, 2009
In what can only be described as a coup of earthshaking proportions, Sam Carey brings his brand of hard-hitting and thoughtful reporting to the Como Crier. Sam comes to us from “People” magazine where he spent the past 12 years covering the lives of the rich and unhinged. “I had to get out,” said Sam, “If Brittany called me one more time at 3 a.m. to bring my camera and meet her at Perkins, I was going to snap. How many times can a woman shave her head? And really, it was only funny once. But I’m glad to be here. Who needs that drama?”

Week of October 26, 2009
“A riddle inside a mystery wrapped in an enigma” – these words, once uttered by Churchill, are also apt for our own Sam Carey. For, while many feel they know Sam, none can truly “know” him.
“Can you know the wind?” asks Jon Aslani.
“We went to kindergarten together,” muses Parker Hoffman, “but I have no idea who he is. Not really. No one does.”
“He’s dreamy.” Says Brittney S. “He always pays for my pie.”
Yet, there he sits – thinking thoughts far too deep for average mortals to comprehend. What will he say next? And when he says it, what will it mean?

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